The Green in My Grass

When I was pregnant, I mused from time to time about what I missed. Sushi. Alcohol. Sleeping on my stomach. Sitting in booths without bruising my stomach... You get the idea. Today, I can have sushi whenever I want. Ryan and I have taken advantage of that gift wholeheartedly. I've sampled from my various cravings of martinis, mojitos and margaritas... (evidently, I have a thing for the M drinks?) I sit in booths quite easily. Sadly, I still can't sleep on my stomach, thanks to the boob-food supply, but I can sleep on my back without my arms going numb, so that's a gift in and of itself.

Now for my 'grass is always greener' moment. I miss a few things about life pre-baby. Pedicures. Leisurely shopping experiences and other uncomplicated errands. Uninterrupted sleep.

Now, you'd think I could get a pedicure with a baby in tow, right? But think about the logistics. You're in a massage chair thingy with your feet in water or being man-handled by the pedi lady. Your child is sitting in his car seat/carrier (which he hates) and he decides to start crying to let you know it. Do you A) Stop everything, regain the use of your feet, and go to pick him up, B) let him scream and disturb the relaxing pedis of the rest of the women there, or C) request that one of the technicians pick up your child for you and hand him to you, and also his bink, and also his burp cloth, and pray that's enough to get him quiet again? Needless to say, you do NOT want to see my toes right now.

Then there's shopping. I'm in that in-between stage where I'm still too fat to fit into my pre-baby clothes, but my maternity clothes are too big and fit weird now that I don't have a rock-hard spherical belly. I need a couple cheap get-me-through-this-lame-stage outfits and a one-piece swimsuit, because 2 months out, my mid-section is FAR from ready for prime time. But there's a very small window of time when my son is neither fussy nor hungry. And sadly, that small window is not even remotely long enough to engage in true shopping. It's just enough time to make a mad dash to Target to pick up emergency diapers. And even that is a far from enjoyable experience these days. The up-side is that the only money I spend is on stuff I need for Wyatt. No leisurely oops-I-accidently-spent-$200-at-Target moments. Those are by far a thing of the past.

And lastly, sleep. I have to laugh that I ever complained about lack of sleep when I was pregnant. I thought getting up every few hours to pee and doing a lot of tossing and turning throughout the night, was "lack of sleep". No, lack of sleep is having a baby who doesn't sleep through the night yet. Getting up to pee is nothing compared to getting up to feed (20-30 min), change (5 min), and soothe (alternating intervals of 5 - 15 min after he's supposedly gone back to bed) a baby. That half hour to hour break in your sleep cycle, a couple times a night... that's lack of sleep.

Would I change it? Would I give him back and say "no thanks, life was 10 time easier before we had a baby"? No, of course not. It was 10 times easier, but I know and love Wyatt intensely now. He's a real person, a member of our family, and I wouldn't trade him for all the sleep and free time in the world. But that doesn't mean I don't miss the simplicity of life before. I miss it like crazy. I wish I would have soaked it up a little more - appreciated the gift of simplicity, of self. I wish I could express to people who aren't to this stage yet, how important it is to enjoy that! People told me, of course, but I guess I didn't really let it sink in.

As always, here are some pics of our now 90th percentile (in both height and weight), 2 month-old boy. (Yes, he'll be playing football for my USC Trojans. Obviously.)

These blue eyes will someday get me both in and out of trouble.

The elusive smile. I do it all the time, but mom and dad have a hard time catching it with the camera! This is sort of a half smile. It's a start.

No one told me I'd be getting close to outgrowing my swing at a mere 2 months old. I guess that's what being in the 90th percentile does to ya.

We'll call this "napping". Um, yeah...