A Beating Heart

For the last few weeks, I've really wanted to blog about our latest news. Wyatt's gonna be a big brother! I've wanted to write down every little thought and feeling and physical change, and share the news on the forefront of my mind. But, thanks to the confidence-rocking miscarriage experience of a year ago, I decided to bite my tongue and wait. And wait. And wait. Every day felt like a week. Our goal: To see a strong heartbeat at our first ultrasound. Well, yesterday we saw just that. A heart rate of 154. Our little bug is thriving, so we're ready to tell the world. It's still early. A lot of people would wait longer. Hit more milestones. But I'm a writer. I need to write about milestones. I need to share, because keeping it inside hurts my head. There's a tiny little being with a beating heart hanging out in there, and I think she (hopeful thinking) is here to stay... well, until August at least. Then she gets to take up residence in the rest of the world.

So, changes. I've lost 8 pounds since I got knocked up. And, no way, I'm not dieting. I think the bod's just working really frickin' hard. I actually thought maybe it was twins, because I hadn't lost weight in the beginning with Wyatt until the morning sickness began. This time, I've only had a few bouts of nausea and sickness so far, but I'm dropping weight pretty fast. Who knows? Maybe it's a girl! Maybe that's the difference. Or maybe we really are having twins, and one was just hiding behind the other one in the ultrasound, haha.

I'm not shy about the fact that I'm hoping for a girl. I know that's not very PC. And I will obviously be madly in love with a little boy, too. But we're not planning on any more pregnancies after this one, so I'd really like to complete the set. Heh. And, while we're not quite ready to share our current name options yet, I have a girl's name I would really like to use. And I want to SHOP for a girl. They're superficial reasons, of course, but reasons nonetheless. And of course, mostly, I just want to experience being the mother of a girl. I want to give my parents their first granddaughter. Yep. A definite preference. Sue me.

I think that's all for now. I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas! God bless us, every one. ;)

Days Two - Five: Proof

It's been just under a week since I found out I'm having another munchkin. For the most part, I've just been walking around in a daze. The very beginning is kind of bizarre. I've been popping prenatal vitamins, cutting way down on caffeine, turning down wine at dinner, and, well, that's it. I haven't been all sick and miserable yet, which is great, but it also means the proof of my pregnancy is the digital display on a test that has already gone blank again. No proof. Well, until yesterday...

Yesterday morning, I went to clean up the first real dog mess since we got the puppy. My preggo nose caught a wiff and that was it. Sick. My husband came home from work for a bit just to clean up the mess and to take the puppy to work with him! He also brought me a decaf Starbucks. That's pretty high up there on the amazing guy scale, I think, eh? He's got how to pamper a preggie down to a science. After that, I went about my day, which included about a million errands. Wyatt was in and out of car seats, strollers and shopping carts all afternoon. One of those stops was to the Lab, where I had my official blood test done for the doc. Got my results back a couple hours later. Positive. Not that there was a question, but it always seems so much more real when the doctor tells you. So now I have my proof.

I'm also turning 32 on Monday, so there are a few little birthday things going on, including a visit from Andrea next weekend, which I'm really excited about! But nothing else related to the bun in the oven. In the 1st trimester, that's probably a good thing. Oh, and yesterday Wyatt learned how to say "Uh oh!". I don't think he actually knows what it means, but he says it all the time, which is pretty stinkin' cute. So that's where we're at. A happy little family with a whole lot to think about these days.

Day One: Again

I'm knocked up. Again. Whoa.

It's not like we didn't know there was a chance, but who in their 30s gets pregnant the very first month off the pill? Who's that stinkin' fertile? Well, evidently I am. I must have been built for another era... I would have been such a catch to some farmer in Arkansas in the 1940s who wanted about 18 kids to help him run the farm. Just imagine my potential, had I started young... Ha!

I told Ryan with a text message. It's not quite as lame as it sounds. I sent a series of pictures. First, a close-up of Wyatt saying, "Dad, I have something to tell you." Then a not-as-close-up picture of him wearing a big brother wife beater saying, "I'm gonna be a big brother!" And lastly, a picture of the Pregnant digital display of the pregnancy test saying, "Yes, that's what it means." He came home with balloons (one "boy", one "girl", which I hope simply say one or the other, and that they aren't an omen for twins, ha ha) and flowers, and we celebrated by going out to dinner. I had Panang Curry and wondered how much longer it'd be before I'd be eating saltine crackers and 7-up. Yum.

Needless to say, we're not really secret-keepers around here. I didn't wait until I started my 2nd trimester to tell everyone. In fact, it's already on my Facebook status, and I just found out today! I know, I know. It's probably smart to hold out for a bit - make sure everything sticks. But I'd die having to wait. And as soon as we can, we'll find out if we're having a boy or a girl, too. At that point, baby "it" will have a correct pronoun and a proper name (because we already have those picked out, too). That's just how we roll.

Yeah, it's a whole new experience the 2nd time around. I'm excited, but also filled with a mild sense of dread. You know, just about certain aspects of pregnancy (the 1st and 3rd trimesters) and certain things about the baby (the birth, the first 6 weeks of his/her existence, nursing again). Yeah, just some minor concerns... :) But then I look at Wyatt. At this little person with his own personality and those big blue eyes. And yeah, I think I can do this.

Again. :)