The School Age

I've mentioned this before, but the first few years of motherhood were really hard for me. I felt blindsided by the true enormity of parenthood. I loved my babies, but I didn't really know what to do with them. There was never enough sleep. There was a lot of crying and meltdowns during those years (and not just by the kids.) I also had to spend a disproportionate amount of time dealing with urine and feces. First diapers, then potty training. I wouldn't even blink if someone told me the only reason they didn't want children was because of potty training. I would fully understand that logic. And then there's this: I cared way too much about how other parents viewed my choices. And, you guys, in those first few years, all of your choices are presented as hot button issues. It's RIDICULOUS. (I had epidurals. We circumcised our boy. We used disposable diapers. I only nursed for a few months with each kid, and found great relief from formula. We vaccinated our kids on a selective, delayed schedule.) SERIOUSLY. Why are all of the most judge-worthy choices given to parents when they're rookies? I had to read a lot of books and websites about raising small children, because despite what everyone said about trusting my gut, I felt pretty gutless. And yet I still thought I needed to justify every choice by convincing other new parents to do things the way I did them. I'm drowning; let me give you a swimming lesson.

I am grateful, therefore, that time marches on and that babies and toddlers don't remember being babies and toddlers. That's a gift, guys. And, those two alien beings I was responsible to keep alive while they learned basic earth survival skills are now 8 and almost-6. We have entered fully into The School Age, and it is glorious. 

I'm not really sure how it works if you have kids covering the spread. I imagine The Survival Years are tempered considerably by experience, but I'm not going to have another baby to find out. 

Here are my 3 favorite things about the The School Age: 

1) Conversation. My kids have a lot to say these days. They have opinions and questions about the world. Sometimes that can be crazy-making, but it's also pretty stinkin' amazing. They're smart and funny and insightful young people, and I get to be a part of helping them become grown-ups. I'm getting to know them now based on what they think and feel. My love for them is based more on who they're becoming as human beings, and a little less on the fact that they're mine and they have the cuteness factor of baby animals.  

2) School. I've always been a book nerd, so the school years are kind of my jam. I could probably write a book about my love of our neighborhood public school, and why we have our kids there, but that's a post for another day. (And isn't it great that God's plan for every family is unique?) My kids whine about homework sometimes like most kids do, but I appreciate how it keeps me right in the mix of their curriculum and their personal progress. I also really dig helping out in my kids' classrooms. I'll admit that I started because I felt obligated as a stay at home mom to be of service and be involved. Blah blah blah. I didn't really want to be that involved. But then I found out I actually love it. I get to work one-on-one with these rad little kids who I never would have gotten to know otherwise. And I get to observe my kids in a classroom setting and sometimes on the playground, so it shows me a whole different side to their personalities that they don't always show me at home. It's crazy-rewarding, and I feel like it's exactly where I'm supposed to be. But the school year also obviously makes me happy because I get a break from the kids. The days I'm not in the classroom, I get to clean without interruption, shop solo, work out regularly, schedule hair appointments without needing a sitter, and charge up all of my introvert batteries with blessed alone time. The school year is my sweet spot, man.    

3) Vacations. What's the difference between a trip and a vacation? Kids. That's what we always used to say, anyway. But, we've recently discovered that our viewpoint was shortsighted in the depths of The Survival Years. We can legitimately vacation with our school-aged children! The trips can be fun and relaxing. This has to be one of the greatest discoveries ever. "Family vacation" isn't an oxymoron anymore. And that means that while I love the school year, summer break isn't so shabby either.

The School Age has plenty of challenges. Thanks to our kids' growing opinions and interests, our days can be crazy busy during some seasons. Extracurricular activities are both a blessing and a curse. School aged kids are experts at fighting and arguing. They can be manipulative and sometimes they even lie. They're now capable of most of the same sinful junk we adults are. Raising school aged kids requires a lot of thinking and a lot of praying, because they're actually going to remember how these years went down. But they're also capable of big good things like kindness, generosity, and genuine helpfulness that doesn't double the time it takes you to get things done. And you know what?
They know us better than they used to, too. It feels good to be known by my people.

These years are the best years so far. I can't wait to see what's next. I don't want my kids to slow down or stop growing up. Onward and upward, baby.